My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You need Xanax blowdarts
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
