Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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