I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Alive.
So much puke
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
