what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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