I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
