i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
