He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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