I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
