And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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