You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
