She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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