Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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