is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize