but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
