this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
