Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
