We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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