if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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