i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
