Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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