I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Randomize
