Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.

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(214): View more from Texas

Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.

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(972): View more from Texas

Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.

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(678): View more from Georgia

My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.

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