guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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