I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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