dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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