He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
