fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
