Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
