I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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