There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Be still, my beating vagina.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize