No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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