I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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