I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
