I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
