I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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