Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize