Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
