you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It's Friday. Sex?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
