im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I've blown a few things in my day
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
