Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Threesome in a minivan. New low
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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