so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
