Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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