The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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