Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
