Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
