Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
