I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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