My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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