Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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