Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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