the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
