My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
