it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
What a dumb baby whore.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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