Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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