Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
