I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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