Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
