I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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