Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
