You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
