I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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