When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize