Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
