Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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