I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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