her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
